oh yes, it hurts.

PISSED OFF MOTHAFUCKER.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

so much for partying.
so much of getting high and drunk for one fucked up year.
everything changes with one untimely decision.
i hate this.
i fucking hate helpless moments like this when everything is just not going according to my grand plan. seriously i just feel like cutting each vein up and make a bloody mess out of it.
i am super pissed off i want to punch someone right in the face and break his nose or something
i know its a little bit drastic just because of a cancelled out thing but seriously!
birthday sucked for the past 3 years, LAST YEAR COUNTDOWN WAS FUCKED UP and now this?!!!!! i was so looking forward to fuck 08 up and now its fucking me up.
i had big plans.
i fucking hate making plans.
i am so not gonna make anymore plans.
fuck la 09 is off to a fucked up start.
one more bad year.
i can feel it in my bones.

{ 2:45 AM }

RELIEF.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

THANK HEAVENS IT'S OVER.

{ 12:17 AM }

21st.

Monday, December 29, 2008

pretty much the same,

just like those in the past

over and over

except being a year older.

the only difference is that 21st is celebrated with

a goddamn toothache.

thanks a lot.

{ 2:46 AM }

awesomeness.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

FUCKING TOOTH ACHES FUCKING BAD LA FUCK.

{ 5:53 PM }

so...argghhhhhhh.

Friday, December 26, 2008

ticking really near,

please make it come true.

{ 12:38 AM }

4 days.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

i dont know if i can handle this,

im scared.

really scared.

please dont come.

{ 4:36 PM }

surprises.

sometimes the person you thought you know so well,
gives you the worst surprises in your life.
i found out two things i didn't want to know today.
extremely shocking,very disappointing.
it really scares me on how much more skeletons could there be still
hiding in that dark closet of theirs.
but then again,
everyone has their very own dirty little secrets.
right?
oh well,have a very merry christmas "friends".

{ 3:18 AM }

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

i see wrinkles coming,help!

{ 2:04 AM }

fetishes.

Monday, December 22, 2008

too kinky for your liking?

{ 3:16 AM }

first.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

remember?

{ 10:01 PM }

gone.

"a friend is someone whose face you see in the dark."
-
i dont seem to see you people's face anymore these days,
everyone is changing,but not for good.
where's all the promises we made last resolution.
apparently im the only one holding on,
out of the 3 when we ate the ashes.
but both of you look happier nowadays.
so it's okay,
im better off alone anyways.

{ 12:52 AM }

i miss

Friday, December 19, 2008

the smell of your bare skin.

the tenderness of your touch.

the warmth of your body against mine.

the richness of your voice,

breathing slowly in my ear.

that scratchy goatee

tickles on my shoulders.

that strong hands

running through my hair.

the little things you do,

that you probably didnt notice.

but i did,oh i did.

when you put your hands

at the small of my back,

when you grip my hands tight

crossing that empty streets.

stroking my arms aimlessly

throughout cold busrides.

times you'd still call,

on late stormy nights

entertaining my fantasy stories

talking about nothing

comfort words full of love

when you told me its going to be okay.

when you stay up all night,

even though your eyes wont agree

but you keep fighting it till im asleep.

when you sweep my hair,

from across my face

for that slightest soft touch of the lips

at the top of my head,

which burns till today.

those times when you cared,

times before you changed.

just those precious little moments,

just that very much so.

its been some time,

but each december never fails to bring up the past

i have yet to let go.

i miss you boy,

i really do.

{ 1:16 AM }

Thursday, December 18, 2008

"only people who are in love can see those stars"

really?

that's not fair.

really not fair.

{ 12:40 AM }

counting down.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

please dont come,please.

{ 2:04 AM }

sighs.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

i would give anything,

anything

to have you as my man:)

{ 5:20 AM }

hotel.

Friday, December 12, 2008

let's go back to this,again.

poker nights galore.

shop till we literally drop.

4 nights of different alter egos.

and imaginary friends.

let's go,goodbye.

{ 3:50 PM }

lazy mornings.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

i dreamt of you last night.

{ 12:01 PM }

29th.

amber's telephone call, maybe.

{ 3:52 AM }

sweet tooth.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

your taste still lingers.

{ 6:09 PM }

wishlist.

everthing except foxxy,can?

{ 5:15 AM }

you're starting to be just a little bit more.

Monday, December 8, 2008

i think.
hope not.
go away.
im scared.
because when you do,
everything changes
the plan backfires
it will be as before
you're starting to haunt me again.
i miss you already.
again.

{ 7:02 PM }

help.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

i hate it here,
i want to go home.
please.
please.

please.

{ 1:13 PM }

dear friend

i thought you learnt your lesson,
not once but twice.
but you still fool around with guys.
i dont understand it dear friend.
and when your boyfriend do the exact shit,
you'll complain and stuff.
well i think you deserve it.
you're not changing at all.
i know im your friend,i'll always have your back.
but you're a cheater too.
and you know how much i despise that.
i seriously think you should save your precious relationship
rather then being someone else's flavor of the month.
wake up now,please.

{ 1:39 AM }

adlynna haron.

Friday, December 5, 2008

not quite legal yet,

but technically adult.

happy eighteen princess.

good and bad

laughter and tears

high waisted and leggings

bathtubs and staircases

ashes and guetta

marshall and lily

heels and sneakers

you and me.

im not good at sappy moments,

and you should know that but

i do really love love you long time.

so lets jiggle the thighs and rock it.

massive eat out session on me after 15th!

and enjoy our much deserve trip soon.

happy legal baby/mami/minah/adlynn.

{ 7:55 PM }

failure.

Monday, December 1, 2008

seems like the weight of the world on her shoulders,
and i think i see her neck is breaking.
should she just give up?
or try to live up these expectations?
"just give me a few more months,"she said.
"then i wont have to beg from you no more."
"the tiny hairline bridge that have been holding us together have finally broken.
im done,trying to please you and everyone else.when are you going to see that i'll never be good enough? i dont deserve all this. and i
refuse to apologise for whatever reasons that have been keeping you silent.
its a bliss,your silence is indeed golden. its not my fault. it never was. dont go
blaming everthing on me."
if she could,she probably would.
till then she'll just have to suck it all up and when its time to go,
she'll go.

{ 6:35 AM }

i hate

D.E.C.E.M.B.E.R.

what a joy,its off to a good start.

NOT.

{ 12:00 AM }